Bint Dearborn – WINTRYPOET

BINT DEARBORN

I passed one cold and wintry night alone,
Shivering in tears, all hope seemed lost.
The dawn broke with my dissolving heart,
And whatever dreams pervaded my thoughts,
Had slowly faded along with the melting stars.
All through the chilly night, I wept for you,
And longed to feel your warmth wrapping around me,
As I imagined your arms holding me again.

The birds rise and perch near the window-
Back and forth they flutter, looking for you,
And wonder where you have gone.
But they only find this weeping heart instead.
They turn to me with one final gaze,
And with one last look around, they leave me.
Who can blame those little feathered angels?
For all they acknowledge is laughter and joy.

III

As I lay there, in an altered state of mind,
I find myself adrift in the ocean of mass hysteria.
I became frightened and distraught,
As I drown in my wayward thoughts,
And weep out loud longing to hold you.
I began to recall your rose garden,
How you labored and toiled in the soil,
Like the way you loved and cared for me.

A son humbled by your loving heart,
And spoiled by your constant care.
I recalled your rainbow smile.
The contours of your angelic face,
And your witty and snarky frowns.
But no sooner did I come to my senses,
Did a sigh of grief strike my heart,
As I contemplate my loneliness.

Like a child afraid in the dark,
I cry out to you across the endless plain;
But cries from oblivion go unheard.
Like a thirsty dove roaming the desert,
I search for the sea of your heart;
But the way of the desert is a cruel delusion-
So I took comfort in mistaken perception,
And imagined your arms wrapped around me.

Blinking momentarily out of existence,
I offered one last cry out to you.
I feared my heart had gone from me,
Following you through some dark tunnel,
And toward some radiant light;
But my heart consoles me within the darkness,
As a voice from within cries out,
“Listen to the rain, it falls to bathe the rose garden.”

VII

I listened, and I followed my heart.
I watch as the darkness around me began to loom.
The day seemed like midnight before my eyes.
Blackness covered me, and I trembled with fear,
As I longed to be there in your heart again.
By your side, where no fear ever touched me.
In your heart, where I learned how to make poems.
But all I could do was weep as the soft rains fell.

VIII

Walking beneath the rain in that rose garden,
I gaze with seared eyes in rapid motion.
I begin searching for you with a racing heart,
And started crying out to you as a child lost.
I then hear your gentle and inviting voice,
The butterflies appeared and led the way.
They lead me to you, and I find you sitting there,
In the company of those beautiful roses.

I walk over to you, and upon seeing my sobbing eyes,
You float to me, as roses scatter their petals before you.
You embrace me with a tearful smile and kiss me;
And I’m like a child again in your arms.
You smile so tenderly, and with one final kiss,
You breathe the breath of life back into me.
I’m awakened to a tear-drenched pillow,
And like a madman I awake, and race weeping to your grave.